Here With Me
by omidorichan
Summary: SPOILERS! NOT slash! Sam gets a chance to send a letter to Frodo, but it proves more difficult than he thought.


Here With Me  
  
Summary: !SPOILERS! for those who haven't read the entire Lord of the Rings series (Fellowship, Two Towers, and Return of the King).  
  
--Not slash--  
  
Sam gets to write a letter to Frodo. Bits of Michelle Branch's song, 'Here With Me'.  
  
  
  
Author's Note: I appologise a million times for any mistakes I have made in this fic!  
  
Sam is my favourite character, can you tell?  
  
Um.... the stuff in ~ 's is parts from the song "Here With Me" by Michelle Branch. I cut out a few lines because they didn't fit with the story. The song basically represents Sams thoughts, and the stuff in " " (I used apostrophes for quotation marks) is what is written in the letters.  
  
RRR! Read, Review, and RE Review!  
  
  
  
It was a bit over a year after Frodo Baggins left Middle Earth, and his best friend Samwise Gamgee had been doing all he could for his beloved home, Hobbiton. For the sake of his friends and family, Sam tried his best to keep a smile on his face everyday, and that he did. And before bed, he would sit by the fireplace and tell his young daughter, Elanor, tales about the adventures of Nine-Fingered Frodo and the Ring of Power. Even though she was only a bit more than a year old, Sam could see the spark of intelligence in her eyes that told him she knew exactly what he was talking about. And while he was telling his stories, Rosie would listen quietly, usually knitting a scarf or hat for little Elanor. Occasionally she would make a comment, or exclaim at one of the more frightening parts.  
  
One night, after Sam had told them about the crowning of the King of Gondor (whom he still occasionally called plain-old Strider), he had decided to stop at the part when the crown was placed on Aragorn's head.  
  
'Rosie?' he asked. Rosie counted her stitches and looked over at Sam and a sleeping Elanor. She smiled and took Elanor to her bedroom, and in a few short moments she was back, finishing off a gold and green scarf. Sam leaned back on his chair and sighed.  
  
'Looks like Elanor isn't the only sleepy head.' Rosie said cheerfully. Sam chuckled forcefully and after a moment of deep thought, he shook his head.  
  
'Its not that. Rosie, I've been wondering-'  
  
'about Frodo.' Rosie finished for him. Sam nodded sheepishly. 'You know as much as I do, Sam, but I expect that nothing bad can become of him while he is in the care of Gandalf, Elrond, Galadriel, and Bilbo. Nothing worse than could have happened here, anyway.' She put her needles aside, stood up, and walked into their kitchen. Sam watched her silently as she picked a small envelope up from the counter. She brought it back and put it into his hands gently. 'I was saving this for now. It came today, but you don't have to if you don't want to.' She said softly, and gave him a small smile. Sam looked up at her questioningly, and she pointed to the letter in his shaky hands. 'Open it.'  
  
Slowly and carefully he started to rip the top of the envelope. Surprisingly, it came undone by itself. He grinned. Elves thought of everything.  
  
From the envelope, Sam pulled a single slip of paper that had a sort of greenish-tint to it, as if the paper had been made from leaves and herbs. It smelt of Rivendell and Minas Tirith.  
  
Trying to calm his already unstable nerves, Sam began to read the letter. Rosie watched him almost without blinking.  
  
"Dear Mr Gamgee,  
  
Before going into the main reason of this letter, I would like to say congratulations! You have accomplished ever so much in so little time. From helping Mr Frodo destroy the Ring, saving the Shire, getting married, and your first child!  
  
Now onto business. As you know, a ship left Middle Earth last year, and among its passengers were some you knew very well. My father, Mr Bilbo Baggins, Gandalf the White, Galadriel, and, of course, Mr Frodo Baggins. I am told that the news of Mr Frodo's departure came quite suddenly to you, and I know how hard it must have been.  
  
I miss my father so, and my husband tells me that even though I try to hide it, it still shows-"  
  
Sam thought of Rosie, how she always caught his eye whenever he would start to drift off, but never said anything.  
  
"We have been given a wonderful opportunity, though the choice of whether to use it or not, is completely up to you. You absolutely must understand that there is no chance of getting a reply back, or even of it reaching them at all.  
  
A few elves from Rivendell, who used to work for my father have confronted me and spoke of their leaving Middle Earth. It makes my heart sad to see more of our numbers leaving, but I know better to stop them. They will be leaving in three weeks time from the day you receive this letter."  
  
Sam felt his grip tighten on the letter. He had an idea of what was coming next.  
  
"They have so graciously offered to take along anything, anything at all to deliver to those who have left. There is no guarantee that if they reach the West, they will find the recipient, but I am willing to try. It is a harder thing than it sounds, to write to someone you know will not write back. I did think of you when this option came to me, but I thought against telling you for reasons with good intentions. My husband however, thinks that you should know, and that you are wise enough to make the decision for yourself.  
  
I will be presenting the letter(s) to the elves no later than a fortnight. If I do not receive anything for Mr Frodo, or any of them from you by then, I will take it that you have decided against it.  
  
Choose well brave little one!  
  
Sincerely,  
  
Queen Arwen  
  
P.S. Sam, this is Strider. Please don't tell Merry and Pippin"  
  
Sam reread the letter, slower this time, to be sure that his eyes were not deceiving him. He reread it again and again, and then just held it tightly, looking into the fire. Slowly, the news was dawning on him. He could write a letter to Frodo. He could write a letter to Frodo.  
  
'Sam…?' Rosie looked at Sam anxiously. He lost his train of thought, and realized that he had been repeating the words out loud, over and over again. He looked her in the eye.  
  
'I can write a letter to Mr Frodo.' He said again, but this time to her. She nodded slowly and a broad grin appeared on Sam's face. 'I can write a letter to Mr Frodo!' he said, as if he finally understood. He let out a laugh of such happiness that Rosie hadn't heard from him in a year. He laughed and laughed and gave Rosie a kiss on the cheek.  
  
Rosie -even though when Faramir had come to deliver the letter, he had explained everything to her- was not happy. She had been overjoyed at first, and had barely been able to contain her excitement until Sam arrived home. But the more she had thought about it, the more she realized how difficult it would be for Sam to write the letter. Being an intelligent hobbit, she knew her husband well, and could see him writing the letter, page after page, letting all of his sorrow come out like ink from the pen. Then he would read it over, and try to ignore the tearstains. Once it was delivered, even though he knew Frodo wouldn't be able to reply, he would find himself glancing at the mailbox each time he would pass. 'And there is no guarantee that Mr Frodo will even receive the letter.' Rosie said to herself sadly. 'Even the not-knowing would tear Sam up inside.'  
  
Sam was humming a song to himself as he walked around looking for a bundle of parchment and something to write with. He was too overjoyed to think of any of the things that Rosie had thought of. He was too happy to think much of Arwen's warning, or why he shouldn't tell Merry and Pippin. All he was concerned about was another chance to say a proper goodbye to Mr Frodo.  
  
Upon finding all he needed to write, he sat down at a table. Rosie said goodnight to him, and told him not to stay up too late. He just smiled and told her to have sweet dreams. Sam took a deep breath and tried to organize his thoughts into words before putting them on paper. As he calmed down, he realized how difficult it would be to say all he needed to. He thought about the past year, and realized that he hadn't really been present. He had been wearing a mask, and the more he did so, the more he hurt inside.  
  
~It's been a long, long time since I looked into the mirror  
  
I guess that I was blind  
  
Now my reflection's getting clearer  
  
Now that you're gone things will never be the same again~  
  
"Dear Mr Frodo,  
  
I hope this letter reaches you alright, though that is hardly all I have to say. Imagine! Its been a year, already, but now that I think about it, this may be the only chance I ever get to speak to you again. I know Rosie thinks I don't realize how hard it will be for me after I send this letter, and maybe I don't, but I just can't pass this up. I have so much to say, and yet I am saying nothing at all. In my head I have every word planned out, and then they just get jumbled up on the paper, if you get my meaning."  
  
~There's not a minute that goes by every hour of every day  
  
You're such a part of me…~  
  
"I'm afraid I haven't been on my best behaviour, but l can't help it. Every day passes like a blur, and sometimes I think I can feel the ring's pull at my neck, just like it did during that short time that I bore it. It is terrible, and I can only imagine how awful it must be for you, with your cut and all. Rosie knows, but she never says anything. I suppose she thinks only I can help it, and only by my realizing it. Just like you had to give up the ring yourself, like you said once."  
  
  
  
~ I know you had to go away  
  
I died just a little, and I feel it now  
  
You're the one I need  
  
I believe that I would cry just a little  
  
Just to have you back now  
  
Here with me  
  
Here with me~  
  
"How are you? What about Mr Elrond, Gandalf, Galadriel, and Mr Bilbo? Yes, yes, I know you can't reply, but the question I only asked because I want you to know that I do care how you are doing. As for me, I am not bad, but not good. Rosie has never been better, and Elanor is turning into a very beautiful, healthy little hobbit. We celebrated her birthday a few days ago… oh, yes! She said her first word at seven months, and I will give you three guesses at what it was. Too predictable? Rosie wasn't very surprised when we heard her say 'Frodo!', but to tell you the truth, I hadn't expected it. Every evening now, I tell her about the adventures of Nine- Fingered Frodo, and she enjoys them very much.  
  
Merry and Pippin are doing well, though I think that being knights is getting to their heads. I've told them so, but they just laugh and ride around in their shining armour, dazzling the young hobbit children. I haven't spoken with Stri… King Elessar much; he has been very busy. So has Mr Faramir, and all of our other friends."  
  
Sam stopped writing for a moment to think about how to express himself without troubling Frodo and without making his last letter to Frodo full of mindless chatter.  
  
  
  
~You know that silence is loud when all you hear is your heart  
  
And I wanted so badly just to be a part of something strong and true  
  
But I was scared and left it all behind~  
  
  
  
"I won't lie to you Mr Frodo, the past year has been very hard for me. I felt the sorrow the moment you faded from my sight, into the horizon. Sometimes I feel overcome with loneliness. But, don't get me wrong, I still have dear Rosie. Merry and Pippin have shared my pain, and it has helped a lot. We had such a strong friendship…"  
  
  
  
~ I know you had to go away  
  
I died just a little, and I feel it now  
  
You're the one I need  
  
I believe that I would cry just a little  
  
Just to have you back now  
  
Here with me  
  
Here with me~  
  
  
  
" I followed you from my little home in the Shire, not having any idea of what we would run into. I knew it would be hard, but not even in my most horrible nightmares could I have imagined the fear, hunger, and pure evil of Mordor. I followed you across Middle Earth to destroy that horrible Ring, and just when it looked like all of your suffering was in vain, that little sneak bit off your finger and fell into the Cracks of Doom with the Ring. As we sat on the mountain, I was ready to die with you. Maybe I was a delirious and half-mad, but I was prepared."  
  
  
  
~And I'm asking  
  
And I'm wanting you to come back to me  
  
Please?  
  
I never will forget that look upon your face  
  
How you turned away and left without a trace  
  
But I understand that you did what you had to do  
  
And I thank you~  
  
  
  
Sam didn't even notice the warm tears on his face until drops started to fall onto his paper. If he tried to wipe them away, he would smear the ink. He knew Frodo would see them, but he wouldn't be able to write a second copy without doing the same thing.  
  
Rosie heard muffled sobs coming from the other room and couldn't help herself. She got up and crept to the doorway. Sam was still writing, and his hands were shaking. Rosie resisted the urge to go over and comfort him. Instead, she went back to bed, but found she couldn't fall asleep.  
  
"I miss you very much Mr Frodo, but I don't want to you regret leaving. It was your choice, and you have to stick by it, just as it was my choice to go to Mordor with you, and to write this letter."  
  
  
  
~I know you had to go away  
  
I died just a little, and I feel it now  
  
You're the one I need  
  
I believe that I would cry just a little  
  
Just to have you back now  
  
Here with me  
  
Here with me~  
  
  
  
"I realize now that I shouldn't dwell in a land of sadness, because it just as bad as being in Mordor. I will remember everything with fondness. And for the memories that I don't like… well, I will look back at them, and be grateful that we got through it, and that I am safe and sound at home. Because that is what you wanted for me…  
  
Love,  
  
Sam"  
  
Sam read the letter over, and noticed the absence of tearstains on the last paragraph. He read it over again, and smiled to himself, something he hadn't done in a long time. He picked up his pen, and underneath his name, he added something.  
  
"P.S. Thank you" 


End file.
